We are on Youtube

So finally, there is a Dr. Rene on Parenting channel on youtube. We would love for you to visit, subscribe and give us some feedback! So far, it's just three clips but we hope to add more from live workshops and tours of our playspaces. Join us at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1C5ljLBysc. Thanks!

Downtime Tips

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests children need an hour of downtime a day. Downtime is truly unstructured, go play time. It can be a child with friends or siblings but it doesn't have to be, the idea is it's up to them. This is child lead play when the individual child is in charge of their own agenda. It can truly be unproductive time, a half hour spent finding shapes in passing clouds or watching the rain drops on a window. If your children aren't up to an hour a day, set this as a goal. Here are some tips to get you started:

• Turn off the TVs and computers - Screentime is anti-downtime. Children who are passively viewing are still being otherwise entertained. Set family limits for screentime and respect them moving forward.
• It is okay if they are bored - When children whine and complain about being bored, it often means they haven't had enough practice with downtime. They need more practice at entertaining themselves.
• Avoid too many structured activities - Children who are constantly on the go to lessons, classes, clubs and playgroups may not have enough downtime. This is especially true for those having to additionally tag along to their siblings' activities. It's good practice to look at the overall family schedule, put downtime on the calendar if you have to.
• Start small - If this is a new concept to your family, start with 10 to 15 minute stretches, then gradually increase the time.

Downtime provides a great opportunity for children to develop their imagination and creativity. It is a chance to build their own stories and games. Downtime also challenges different social skills than what are practiced in more structured activities.

Self-Esteem Tips - The Easy Way

Go deep in their interests. If your child is excited about dinosaurs go to the dinosaur museum, get the dinosaur books, puppets and videos, learn about paleontology online, go on a fossil dig.

Share your own interests. If you are a gardener get them in the garden with you, get them a children's gardening kit. They know it's important to you and now you are sharing with them.

Play with them. Play is their number one job through six years old, join them! Don't know how? Take a wider look at play. Play includes pretend play, dress-up, arts and crafts, board games, building blocks, movement games, sing-alongs, word play, floortime and more.

Give them lots of social opportunity and coach when needed. A piece of self-esteem is feeling socially connected. Give children opportunities to develop good social and play skills often. If things aren't going well, look at why and work on it.

Keep them challenged but not overwhelmed. If your child is managing 10 piece puzzles now, think 20 piece puzzles soon. If they are reading books with 3 sentences on a page, think 6 sentences. Constantly be thinking of the next step but go just a bit harder so you don't overwhelm.

To learn more about this and other information about children's self-esteem, join Dr. Rene for an evening workshop on Self-Esteem, Wednesday May 11 from 7:00-9:00pm. To learn more and =register, please visit http://www.eventbrite.com/org/283710166?s=1328924.

Calm Tips

There are two main ideas for how to manage tantrums once they start. Both ideas start with, "Stay calm yourself." I know, this can take a whole lot of self-control. It can be difficult to stay calm when your child is losing it. Part of it is recognizing that losing it yourself likely just adds fuel to the fire, takes the tantrum up a notch. The other part is realizing what your child needs most in these moments is someone who is calm, who is safe to connect to, who is modeling calm emotions especially when all else feels out of control.

There are so many ways to stay calm. Of course, not every way works for every parent, so I am including calm tips in our emails often this year. Here are a few more ideas that may be helpful in tantrums as well as other times you need to stay calm.

• Learn about child development. It can be calming to know that saying 'no' all day long and doing the opposite of what is requested are common two year old behaviors. It can be calming to know that five and six year olds are often driven by a sense of fairness and hearing "That's not fair!" is par for the course. There are a few good series on development including Touchpoint: Birth to Three and Three to Six by Brazelton and Your One Year Old thru Your Nine Year Old by Ames.


• Shift your thinking to view the benefits of the negative behaviors. Every time your child is aggressive, think of it as an opportunity to teach them better ways to express anger and how to use their words. When your child has a tantrum, think of it as a chance for them to pratice calming, an opportunity to teach emotion language.


• Assume changing behaviors and learning new behaviors takes time. If you assume potty training will be a two day process, you may be frustrated when it takes two weeks. If you assume it will take a few months, than you are pleasantly surprised at the two week mark.

To learn more ways to calm, join Dr. Rene for our two evening session on Calm Parenting. The next workshop series is offered on June 2 AND 9 from 7:00-9:00pm. For more information and to register, please visit http://www.eventbrite.com/org/283710166?s=1328924.