Parent Question: How do I teach my 20 month old daughter not to 'playfully' hit my face when I'm holding her sometimes? I tell her no hitting and be gentle with mommy but she just finds it funny so I end up putting her down.
Answer: I would say in a firmer voice than usual and with a straight face, "That hurts" and put her down the first time and each time. Don't wait until the second hit or attempt. Later in the day I would coach how we touch people and practice being gentle. When she does touch nicely, gush a bit. Say "Wow, that was so nice. You touched me in a gentle way!" She is young for much more.
I hope this helps! Dr. Rene
Friday, October 29, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Question about Child's Sleep
Parent Question: I have a three year old who goes to bed at 7:30pm, and while he sleeps through the night, he wakes up at 4:30 am and will not go back to sleep. He goes to sleep on his own at night. I have him go back to bed, even if he is awake, and he will generally stay in his room, quiet, for about 45 minutes. He is a mess all morning until his nap. This has been going on for about 9 months. Please advise.
Answer: You are doing the first few things I would suggest, having him fall asleep on his own and having a consistent time. It is good to have him spend quiet time in his room rather than going ahead and getting him up. You might try shifting the bedtime back. Doing this is just 15 minutes a week so this week it would move to 7:45pm, the next week 8:00pm. You may not earn the extra time early in the week but later in each week or the following you may start to get a later wake time. You might also check if it is light or noise and try blackout blinds or a white noise machine. You might also (and I know this one sounds scary) put him to bed like usual and wake him a bit a few hours in. Meaning, at 10:00pm or so rouse him, just enough to be awake and help him back to sleep. I have heard this is successful in many families in getting kids to sleep a bit longer in the mornings. Scary because you could just end up with a child who had a 2 1/2 hour nap and is ready to go. But this is supposed to 'reset' their sleep schedule and buy you some time. Likely worth trying for a few nights to see if it works. You might also push back his morning nap. Meaning if he naps at 11:45am, push it back to 12:00noon for a week and 12:15pm for a week. I know this is difficult as he is miserable from being up early but if you shift the bedtime and nap later it may help. By 3 years old, nap should also be in the 1 1/2 hour range; if it is significantly longer it could be interfering with the nighttime sleep.
Sincerely, Dr. Rene
Answer: You are doing the first few things I would suggest, having him fall asleep on his own and having a consistent time. It is good to have him spend quiet time in his room rather than going ahead and getting him up. You might try shifting the bedtime back. Doing this is just 15 minutes a week so this week it would move to 7:45pm, the next week 8:00pm. You may not earn the extra time early in the week but later in each week or the following you may start to get a later wake time. You might also check if it is light or noise and try blackout blinds or a white noise machine. You might also (and I know this one sounds scary) put him to bed like usual and wake him a bit a few hours in. Meaning, at 10:00pm or so rouse him, just enough to be awake and help him back to sleep. I have heard this is successful in many families in getting kids to sleep a bit longer in the mornings. Scary because you could just end up with a child who had a 2 1/2 hour nap and is ready to go. But this is supposed to 'reset' their sleep schedule and buy you some time. Likely worth trying for a few nights to see if it works. You might also push back his morning nap. Meaning if he naps at 11:45am, push it back to 12:00noon for a week and 12:15pm for a week. I know this is difficult as he is miserable from being up early but if you shift the bedtime and nap later it may help. By 3 years old, nap should also be in the 1 1/2 hour range; if it is significantly longer it could be interfering with the nighttime sleep.
Sincerely, Dr. Rene
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Potty Training Question
Parent Question: By this point, my child has the hang of peeing in the potty. She still sometimes goes in her pull-up but more so on the toilet. We're continuing to have two issues I'm hoping you can advise on:
1) Very rarely does she ask to go to the potty. She's not good at vocalizing her need to go. Does this come with more practice and maturity or is there something I can do to help get her to realize she needs to go and then tell us (before the fact)?
2) She has only pooped in the potty a few times since we started potty training in the beginning of September. Most of the time, she goes in her pull-up. Any advice?
Answer: For both issues I would start with the language of ownership. For the first concern something like, "Do you know that feeling in your tummy/that pressure in your tummy when you need to pee? You are the only one in the whole wide world who knows when you feel that. It is your job to tell me when you need to pee." or "Let me know when you need to pee. Remember I can't do that for you." For the second concert, "You are so potty trained for peepee! I know when you are ready, you will put your poop in the potty too." I know this language can feel awkward and it is supposed to be delivered in an upbeat (no discipline) way. Also not around accidents or on the potty as it can feel like discipline. More a peptalk as you are tucking her in or while driving home from preschool, out of the blue.
Yes, the first concern should also settle with age and practice.
Have her at least be in the bathroom for the second concern. "The place to be when you need to poop is in the bathroom. I know you're not ready to sit on the potty for that, but everyone poops in the bathroom." Don't force this, just encourage. If she is willing to do that you might have her sit (starting with pullup on and even dressed) on the potty.
I know this can be a long process.
1) Very rarely does she ask to go to the potty. She's not good at vocalizing her need to go. Does this come with more practice and maturity or is there something I can do to help get her to realize she needs to go and then tell us (before the fact)?
2) She has only pooped in the potty a few times since we started potty training in the beginning of September. Most of the time, she goes in her pull-up. Any advice?
Answer: For both issues I would start with the language of ownership. For the first concern something like, "Do you know that feeling in your tummy/that pressure in your tummy when you need to pee? You are the only one in the whole wide world who knows when you feel that. It is your job to tell me when you need to pee." or "Let me know when you need to pee. Remember I can't do that for you." For the second concert, "You are so potty trained for peepee! I know when you are ready, you will put your poop in the potty too." I know this language can feel awkward and it is supposed to be delivered in an upbeat (no discipline) way. Also not around accidents or on the potty as it can feel like discipline. More a peptalk as you are tucking her in or while driving home from preschool, out of the blue.
Yes, the first concern should also settle with age and practice.
Have her at least be in the bathroom for the second concern. "The place to be when you need to poop is in the bathroom. I know you're not ready to sit on the potty for that, but everyone poops in the bathroom." Don't force this, just encourage. If she is willing to do that you might have her sit (starting with pullup on and even dressed) on the potty.
I know this can be a long process.
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