Choosing Preschools

Here are a few tips to keep in mind as you consider your options for preschool.

• Attend every open house that you are remotely interested in - This is the best way to get a feel for the school and the staff. At open houses there may be a presentation about the philosophy of the school, a chance to meet current families and a tour to view classrooms. I think it would be very difficult to make decisions without this piece. Take advantage of any options that are provided. Some schools give private tours or offer families that are happy to speak about the programs by phone. You want as much information as possible.
• Compare the schools you are interested in by brochures and websites - The reason is that this if often the school's best food forward. This should provide a summary of their philosophy and highlights of their programs. Brochures have been well edited, the language poured over. Brochures and websites should feel like a good fit with your family.
• Speak with current families - You can often ask for a list from the school but you might also just ask around on the local playgrounds or ask for families on listserves like dcurbanmoms.com. When you do connect with families ask them for the high and low points, ask about parent-teacher communication and any difficulties they experienced. You are looking for well-rounded feedback.
• Apply to a few more than you think necessary - It is still the case each year that there are children who end up not getting into preschool. Have a back-up plan or two.
• Learn about and consider various approaches - There are big differences between Reggio Emilia, Waldorf, Montessori, Play-based, Hi-Scope, Cooperative and Religious based programs. Find out about these and weigh your options.

Teach Social Skills

When parents see their children struggling socially, many are tempted to explain and lecture the child on better ways. Unfortunately long lectures tend to fall on deaf ears. There are many ways to go about teaching social skills.

• Use art projects - Teach turn taking by passing coloring papers between children. Teach sharing by offering one glue bottle to three children for a project. Highlight the social skill in conversation while they color. Fine to comment on any frustration, talk about it and brainstorm solutions to lessen the upsets.
• Read story books - There are so many good books about emotions and social exchange. The Berenstain Bears series offers books about sharing, bossiness and teasing. Hooway for Wodney Wat! covers bossiness and teasing, Timothy goes to School deals with social competition. My Many Colored Days and Today I Feel Silly teach about emotions. Don't just read the books, dive into conversation. Ask them what they think about the stories, talk about similar things they've experienced.
• Play movement games - Simon Says, Wigglelow and Hullabaloo all teach listening skills. Three-legged races teach cooperative efforts.
• Role play - Re-enact situations similar to those that are a struggle. Encourage children to play each role so they can think about the struggle from others' perspectives.
• Puppet shows - If children aren't comfortable with role playing themselves, bring out the puppets or the dollbabies. Children may be more open to this play as it is removed from them, more pretend.
• Ask hypotheticals - We call this the "What if" game. Ask children a wide variety of what ifs based on their own social situations. Brainstorm many possible answers and outcomes for each scenario.
• Give opportunities for play - All the teaching in the world won't do much good if children don't have opportunities to practice themselves. Invite friends over, meet at the playground, plan outings or join playgroups. Children who struggle with social skills need more practice, not less!